Thursday, October 30, 2008

i call it his man cave

and he's not so fond of intrusions. particularly of the saphira kind :]

fordyce for president

my aunt sent this to my dad - the internet is so cool.

on another note: went to my doctors appointment today. everything seems to be moving along (my midwife even joked about my cervix behaving quite nicely...not sure what THAT means, but ok.) so we are on constant 'baby watch' now :]

Monday, October 27, 2008

11 years ago today...

our family lost a truly wonderful man.

he is forever in our thoughts.

love you grandpa bob.

Friday, October 24, 2008

when are you due?

seriously people? how is it that i, 3 weeks from delivery, can remember YOUR extensions, cell phone numbers, color copier codes AND the last four digits of your SSN and you can't remember ONE date? you know, i get your busy. and i get it if you forget my due date. but do you really have to bother ME about it? because i swear to GOD, if i have to answer this question one more time i WILL do something that will cause Cash to be born in a prison hospital.

also: to a certain someone in my office (that for some reason, everything about you drives me INSANE.) my eyes? are on my face. and i'd appreciate it if you could have a conversation with me and actually LOOK into my eyes, instead of staring at my stomach with that condescending look of yours. and your comments about, 'how big i'm getting....' thanks bitch. cause i haven't noticed that my knees are nothing but a distant memory.

AND finally, my personal favorite: gosh, you FINALLY look pregnant! um NO. NO NO NO. i look like i've swallowed a freaking volleyball, there is no WAY i'm 'just now starting to show.' my stomach was FLAT before, people. FLAT. so you can take that comment and shove it.

eta: me thinks my hormones are starting to go a little haywire, eh?

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

baby shower layouts

ha ha - i actually managed to take pictures of the layouts! go me!

from megan - looooove this one. nate saw it and was like, but he's a boy. what's with the flowers?? sigh...sometimes he just doesn't get it.

from camille

from mom

mom actually made this page kit while we were out at the coast and i loved it so much she made one just for me :] my mom's the coolest.

from janet - this is a canvas for his room (and nate's personal favorite)

from mary - soooo cute :]

i have the coolest friends EVER.

eta: susan and angie's layouts are works in guarantees on getting pictures of them, ha!

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

a connection

usually this blog is home to my sarcastic mutterings and bitchy complaints...and a hilarious story or two :]

but today it's all seriousness.

becoming a mother is a strange journey. it's lonely, it's sad, it's exilhirating, it's joyous, it's painful (ha!) it's so many amazing things. i kind of expected all of that (though not quite at this intensity.) what i didn't expect was the unspoken connection i would feel for other mothers, no matter the stage in life they are in. something about this journey ultimately connects us to one another and it's surprisingly...comforting. because no matter what we are experiencing, be it happy or painful, there is someone else out there that is going through the exact same thing.

i imagine that being a mother before the wonders of the internet was far more lonely...i have constant access at my finger tips to forums, blogs, articles and chat rooms full of women just like me. i can't imagine life without that really. these people are there to cheer you on when you need it. there to be excited with you. there to comfort you when you are down. it's amazing. (granted, not all of the internet is so welcoming...i guess you just have to know where to go. not too different from the 'real' world.)

what brought this on? this post. i don't know her 'for real,' only through flickr and the blogging world. but i know enough about her to 'feel' like i know her. know enough to feel so dreadfully sad for her when i read about her loss. know her enough to have a good cry for her. and for toran. and for my mom. and for the millions of other women who have gone through the same pain.

as much as i bitch and complain about being pregnant (which i still reserve the right to do, by the way :]) i KNOW how fortunate we are. how lucky we are to have gone through this whole pregnancy with only one scare. and how blessed we are to be healthy.

i'm going to keep rachel in my thoughts, despite not knowing her - i hope you do the same.

Monday, October 20, 2008

pumpkin patchin' with the henry's

how freaking cute are they?? i think this is the only family photo they have that wasn't a 'christmas' photo. go me!

i love love LOVE this one. it totally showcases each of their funny little personalities.

sophie picked and fell in love with every single little pumpkin she saw.

i love jack in the background, trying to pick up that HUGE pumpkin. i think he ended up rolling it over...

maddie and jack LOVED the hayfort. sophie not so much. she jumped once by herself and the rest of the time insisted that nate hold her while they jumped (has him wrapped around her little finger, she does.)

shouldn't have shown her the table with all the gourds...she wanted to take home armfuls! i don't know why she was smelling them...but apparently some didn't pass the test because she put this one back.

AND my fabulous scrap friends threw me a little baby shower (thanks again guys!) on saturday where everyone contributed a layout to Cash's baby book, which is not only freaking AWESOME, but also a super fun baby shower activity (wayyyyy better than the 'smell the poop' game.) i'm going to try and take pictures of them tonight so ya'll can see :]

on that note, i have TONS of layouts/projects that i've done in the last few months that i haven't taken the time to share (because? i suck and i'm lazy.) So while Nate's at his poker game tonight i'm going to try and catch up!

happy Monday!

Thursday, October 16, 2008

johnson and johnson shampoo + ferret fur = play doh??

so the ferrets fur smelled like johnson and johnson for the first couple of days.

now it smells like play doh.

it's so strange. but frankly, i'll take the play doh smell over the alternative any day of the week.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

this month's bath was brought to you by johnson and johnson

we ran out of ferret shampoo last month and i forgot to buy some. so they got a bath with baby shampoo (TOTALLY freaked them out when it started to bubble - their shampoo didn't bubble.) now our bedroom smells like a baby :]

Monday, October 13, 2008

Birth class – you SUCK and why there is no way in HELL God was a woman

We had our birth class this weekend – or what I like to kindly refer to as 12 hours of mind numbing TORTURE. First off, it’s not a good sign when Nate and I can’t stop giggling during class. It’s not our fault – some of the things they talk about are ridiculous. Secondly, I am now scarred for life. You would think having seen the ‘big show’ up close and personal before, I would have been fine. But the circus freaks that they choose to film for their ‘miracle of life’ videos – YIKES. Let’s just say I’m doing my best to forget everything about those videos. There was nothing miraculous or beautiful about them – it was like watching Alien, but grosser. WAY grosser. I have never been more convinced that the way humans procreate is just downright WEIRD. (And no, you’re not going to be able to change my mind. When we first met our midwife and she talked about how she always found birth to be the most amazing and beautiful, blah blah blah…I was like, are you freaking KIDDING me? What the hell is wrong with you? Masochist.)

That being said, I’m not really any more frightened about the whole process – pissed off is more like it. Which leads to me to why God couldn’t possibly be a woman (driving to the grocery store yesterday, I saw a bumper sticker that said, “Trust in God, SHE will provide.” HA! Obviously that person has never given birth.) I had so many, ‘I’m sorry you are going to cut WHAT? You are going to stick a needle WHERE? You’re cutting through HOW many muscles for a c-section? No FUCKING way,’ moments during birth class it was unreal. There is no way another woman would create this whole universe and put her fellow women through this torture. Unless she was really pissed off with Eve which, really? Is SO not our fault. So God? Thanks for dying to save our souls and all but…you kinda suck.

.....Oooook…so maybe not everyone gets my sense of humor? I went back and forth about posting a little disclaimer towards the second paragraph but thought people would know that it was a joke. Thinking on it now…maybe I should have left the disclaimer in. Obviously my little, ‘god – you suck,’ comment was a JOKE (though right now, it IS kinda how I feel.) I’ve always told myself that I wouldn’t apologize for my opinions or the way I felt – that still hasn’t changed. But I do want to say that in no way did I mean to offend anyone (then again…if you read my blog on a regular basis and this offended you…you’re probably offended a lot.)

Friday, October 10, 2008

Boston makes life interesting…

Lessons we learned yesterday:

1. Boston gets pissy when his cage is too dirty and seeks out a way to make mom and dad mad, which yesterday meant he figured out a way to open the gate.
2. Boston? Not so good with the hiding – he constantly forgets about his rear end. Also not so good with being stealthy.
3. Saphira will come running to you even when she’s in trouble (bless her stupid little heart, I don’t think she realizes when she is in trouble.)
4. Boston can be coaxed out of ANYWHERE with the promise of a slice of apple (which I totally caved and gave to him anyway, despite him being in BIG trouble. A sheepish ferret is hard to resist.)

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

yes - i am a little bitter

so i know i'm a little opinionated (ahem) but i swear there are some people in this world whose sole purpose is to irritate me. and thus, my list of things that are soooo not ok with me:

1. annoying nicknames for your grandson (especially when you don't ever call him by anything else. i can guarantee you he WILL hate you someday for calling him boo boo bear for the first 18 years of his life.) it's not cute or endearing - it's vomit inducing.
2. referring to cash as 'our baby,' (as in, coming up to me every day and asking how 'our baby' is doing.) i'm sorry, i didn't realize you had a hand in this little miracle. when can i expect your check for your half of his upbringing costs?
3. thinking EVERYTHING your grandson does is clever. and everything he says is clever. and he is just the most brilliant 3 year old to ever walk the planet. and isn't he so cute? no...actually, he's not. poor thing better have a great personality.
4. thinking you are God's gift to parenting - trust me, your kids turned out great DESPITE you. btw, you offer me parenting advice and i WILL lose it.
5. complaining to me that you are having trouble 'sharing' your son with his future wife (both of whom are younger than ME.) listen lady, i don't want to think about your 'mommy/son' issues. it's creepy. REALLY creepy.

and people thought i was moody and opinionated BEFORE i received my lovely pregnancy hormones...HA!

on a completely different note: yes, i'm becoming incredibly uncomfortable. when cash stretches, it HURTS. no mild discomfort there. which brought up this little conversation today:

nate: i don't understand how women can like their kids so much after all the pain they get put through...
me: you know....i'm beginning to wonder that myself.

and you can save your, but he is going to be the most wonderful, precious, blah blah blah bullshit for someone who cares. i have EVERY right to be a little bitter right now. let me be crabby in peace.

eta: thank GOD for this blog. i would go totally postal on someone if i didn't have some place to vent.

Saturday, October 4, 2008

it's rough being a ferret

they rub themselves all over our pillows (boston gets especially mad when we wash the sheets and they no longer smell like him. ditto for when we vacuum.)

saphira prefers nate's pillow. actually she generally prefers nate.

boston's favorite past time is knocking everything off the night stand. 'wee, lets make everything crash to the floor so mom has to put it all back again!'

heh heh, saphira isn't the most graceful...she doesn't usually try to get over to the nightstand because her big butt usually doesn't make it....right after this picture the pillow went tumbling to the floor and she cracked her head on the nightstand. it was hilarious.

Friday, October 3, 2008


People have begun asking me if I’m getting nervous for the actual birth.

Honestly? No…not really. I think in part because I tend not to dwell on it (heh heh.) But I also can’t really wrap my brain around the logistics of the whole thing. Duh, I know how it all works (not only did I see the Miracle of Life video in high school, but I’ve seen the ‘big show’ up close and personal enough times to last me forever. Which means I’ve seen it twice and that was two times too many.) I also know how telephones and fax machines work, but that doesn’t mean I really KNOW how that piece of paper goes into one machine and comes out another – that’s a lot to wrap my brain around. Ditto for the whole birth thing.

Which brings me to my second confession: your labor horror stories? Save it. They don’t freak me out, they annoy me. If I wanted to know how you labor experience was, I would have asked. What is it about being pregnant that makes people volunteer all sorts of gross information? (Seriously - I don’t need to know that your episiotomy required 56 stitches. Bit of an over share, ok?)

ETA: Yes, someone seriously told me their episiotomy horror story – someone I work with. In fact, most of the things that I complain about were done by a co-worker. Or some stranger. Or someone I don’t like. When it comes to people I actually LIKE, the belly touching/labor stories/advice giving isn’t nearly as annoying as I make it out to be. (So yes Shelley, its ok that you rub my belly like I’m a lamp and a genie is going to pop out and grant you three wishes. Though I do enjoy watching the inner dialogue that must take place while you are trying to figure out if it’s ok or not - I get a good chuckle out of that.)

Thursday, October 2, 2008

ok...i suck...

because i'm just now getting to the pictures from my baby shower...which was...months ago. eh.

The honeymoon is over…

I thought I was uncomfortable BEFORE. Ha! Foolish was I, because I’ve been feeling aches and pains in the past few weeks that I never thought possible.

•Lower back pain that makes me want to cry and simultaneously kill someone? Check.
•Occasional Braxton-Hicks contractions (BTW, MILD discomfort? If I ever meet the person who came up with that assessment, I’m going to give him a swift kick in the balls - because you KNOW it wasn’t a woman that came up with that, ‘mild discomfort’ shit.) Check.
•Achy hips that make it feel like my whole bottom half is going to fall off? Check, check and check.
Occasionally I vacation under the delusion that I may be able to get through labor without pain medication…ha! Fat fucking chance.

I’m thinking for the safety of myself and those around me, I better be drugged. Because honestly? I’m a little afraid I’m going to get a hold of something sharp in the hospital that I will use to stab anyone who comes near me.