Sunday, November 30, 2008

it's been a great week

....and feeling very blessed.

nate's been home all week and it has been awesome! i haven't had to lift a finger :] my man is the best.

and cash is just about the most perfect baby ever - hardly ever fusses, eats a TON (seriously - i pity cows) and is sleeping for 3-4 hours at a time.


which is totally nature's way of trying to trick us into more children - i've got your number nature and i'm not falling for it!

nate had a poker tournament today so it's just been cash and i...i've spent the entire day editing the hospital pictures (and i'm done, woo hoo!)

it's been a very productive day :]

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

the birth plan

i want to get the whole 'birthing experience written down before i forget any details :]

so we were scheduled to be induced on Thursday, November 20th. I wasn't looking forward to that, because I really wanted to go through it the natural way. But I was also SO ready to be done. I spent most of Thursday lying on the couch, taking it easy. For some reason I had a feeling it was going to be a LONG night. At 3 Janet treated me to a pedicure (thanks janet - my toes are so pretty!) so I would have something nice to look at :] They say that getting a pedicure late in pregnancy can put you into labor...they must be right, because by the time we left there at four, I was having some pretty good contractions. I got home and we rushed around getting everything ready for the hospital - at this point my contractions were about 10 minutes apart. I was supposed to eat dinner beforehand but had completely lost my appetite.

We got checked in and taken up to our labor room at six. They instantly hooked me up to the heart beat monitor and the contraction monitor and sure enough, they were coming about every 9 minutes or so. Nate was mesmerized by that thing - it wasn't very helpful because he would say, 'whoa, that was a BIG one!' Uh...ya thanks honey, I noticed. I was still managing my pain ok but had a feeling that was going to be short lived.

The midwife came in about 6:30 - she checked me out and discovered I was fully effaced and 2 cm dilated. She decided against doing the cervical gel (meant to soften the cervix in the hopes of getting labor started - my cervix was as soft as it was going to get so it would have been pointless.) Instead, she started me on Pitocin. We could have waited it out and done it without but she was afraid that labor would stop or be too slow - because I was overdue she was worried about stressing the baby out too much.

Once they gave me the Pitocin I wanted to DIE. The contractions were coming hard and fast - about every 2-3 minutes. If labor had progressed naturally I probably would have been able to go alot longer without an epidural but I couldn't take much more of the pain once they started Pitocin. She told me I had to wait until I was at least dilated 3 cm - that ended up taking over an hour. I won't lie - it was incredibly painful. And unfortunately, Nate wasn't able to help as much as I would have liked. Because of the Pitocin I had to be constantly monitored - which meant I was pretty much confined to the bed or the chair. No walking around, no massages, nothing. If I had been able to do those things I might have been able to handle it better. Maybe :]

Nate really was great though...he turned the tv on to a show I like to distract me. He held my hand and let me squeeze as hard as I wanted (I think I hurt him at one point - his eyes got really big and he looked over at the nurse like, HELP!) He stroked my head and talked me through breathing (funny, I would forget to breath ALOT.) He really was wonderful. Afterwards he said he was really struggling - he had no idea how much pain I was going to be in and he felt helpless.

After an hour of the Pitocin induced contractions they checked me again and I was dilated to 3 cm (hoooray! bring on the drugs!) They gave me some IV medication to calm me down so they could do the epidural. I was expecting that to be awful but it really wasn't - the IV they put in my hand hurt WAY worse. It didn't hurt that the anesthesiaologist was WONDERFUL. Seriously, I wanted to kiss him. Once the epidural kicked in I was a happy camper!

About nine my friend Amanda stopped by. We originally didn't want anyone in the room during labor but since I got the epidural we thought it wouldn't hurt to have a little company. It was a nice distraction. Nate and her left about 9:30 to get him something to drink. Amanda offered to stay but they had to examin me so I told her to go with him. About that time my blood pressure took a nose dive, sending Cash's heart rate down as well. I was SO freaked out, made even worse by the fact that Nate wasn't there. They had me turn to the other side and his heart rate climbed back up. Nate was pretty upset that he wasn't there but I figured we were out of the woods and told him not to feel bad.

Mom and Lisa stopped by for a bit too but by that time I was pretty out of it and tired. Nate kicked everyone out (on my request) about 10 so we could get some rest. I didn't sleep but Nate managed to get a little bit of a nap in. My midwife (who I LOVE LOVE LOVE, btw) checked me again at midnight and I was only 4 cm - I cried. It was so frustrating. I was afraid that I got the epidural too soon, that we were going to be there all sucked. Not only that, but the epidural was starting to wear off a bit - I was beginning to feel contractions again. No where near the intensity that I felt them before, but enough to make me uncomfortable and unable to sleep.

At 1:30 they checked me again and I was dilated to 7 cm - unfortunately we had no time to celebrate this because as soon as she was done checking me, Cash's heart rate plummeted to practically nothing. Nate woke up from his nap to alarms going off, nurses and doctors rushing around me - I was so scared and he saw it in my face and went completely white. They began prepping me for a c-section, calling the OR and getting a room ready all while anxiously waiting for his heart rate to climb back up. It did, very slowly which concerned both my midwife and the on-call OBGYN. After a brief discussion of the pros and cons of doing a c-section vs continuing on naturally, I decided to go ahead with the c-section. No hesitation. I couldn't risk his health just because I didn't want to go into surgery. As soon as I gave the go ahead, the staff jumped into action mode. The anesthesiaologist came back to give me stronger drugs (again...LOVE him) they got Nate ready to go and in about 5 minutes they wheeled me into the OR. Nate couldn't follow me in right away because they wanted to prep me. The whole thing is a blur...I remember being rolled onto the surgery bed and them putting the sheet up. I believe it was about 2:15 at this point. My midwife was right by my head, holding my hand the whole time. I was scared but not nearly as much as I thought I'd be - I was completely focused on hearing my son cry for the first time.

Apparently Cash's heart rate began to fall again, so they told the midwife to run and get Nate. The anesthesiaologist took over holding my hand while she was gone (did I mention how awesome he was?? Seriously...) Having the c-section done was bizarre...I could feel pressure, and felt them pulling and tugging. It was surreal. Nothing actually hurt until they stitched me up - that was a little painful. As soon as the midwife left the room I heard the doctor say, 'tell them to hurry, we can't wait.' And 5 seconds later (at 2:31 am) I heard him cry and she exclaimed, 'it's a boy!' I can't tell you how relieved I was.

Nate didn't make it back into the room in time to see him be born or hear his first cry, but they rushed him into the room where they were cleaning Cash right away. After a few minutes he came to my side to tell me how perfect he was - I'll never forget how happy he looked. Not too long after they brought him over to Nate to hold and show me - seeing him for the first time...they really are no words. It's a moment I'll never forget.

A half hour later I was stitched up and in recovery holding Cash for the first time. It didn't matter that nothing went according to plan...he was healthy, I was healthy. Life is good. I was actually amazed at how little I hurt once the epidural wore off. Obviously I was quite drugged up but even still...when I had my appendix out I was in SO much pain. This surgery doesn't even compare.

Sooo, that was pretty much it. Cash was worth every single painful second...but I'm thinking I don't really ever want to do that again!

ETA: we took over 200 pictures during our hospital stay...needless to say I've got some editing to do when he and I aren't napping!

Monday, November 24, 2008

we're home - happy and healthy

here's the jist, in case you hadn't heard...
he was born november 21st at 2:31 am via emergency c-section. wasn't our plan at all, but his heart rate kept dropping and we didn't want to risk any more time in labor (was in labor for about 10 hours.)
8 lbs, 7 oz and 21 inches long - he's perfect in every way.

ta ta for now :]

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

the end is near...

and i'm a little sad. a little terrified. mostly just excited to bring our boy home.

little sad to no longer have him so close to me. it's no surprise that this pregnancy hasn't been full of very many pleasant experiences - i've downright hated good portions of it. but it's still special. and awesome. and amazing. and i wouldn't change a minute of it (...ok...i wouldn't be heartbroken about losing the throwing up parts...)

little terrified that this time next week i'll be home with him. all. by. myself. i'm really hoping those maternal instincts kick in.

SO excited to finally see him. and hold him. and take a million pictures of him that i'm going to force you guys to sit through :]

only a few days now...

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

meet gracie joy

cash's first girlfriend :]

she was scheduled to make her debut on my due date (november 12th) but decided that didn't work for her and came on the 9th instead. she's just the cutest little thing.

i'd been holding her for a couple minutes when cash started kicking her right in the bum (his way of saying hi i guess.) she responded by letting one rip. i think it's love.

Monday, November 17, 2008

what happened to your belly button?

ever since my stomach started to get really big, sophie has taken a unique interest in all things pregnancy. every time we go over there, she comes running over and asks if baby cash is still in my tummy (to which i reply, he better be or we've got BIG problems.) i think she's starting to get a bit impatient because this weekend she asked, 'when IS he going to come out of your tummy?' ah, the million dollar question other favorites were, 'what happened to your belly button?' and 'how did he get in there?' (to which i replied, 'god put him in there.' 'how?' 'magic.' because i? am SO not having the birds and bees talk with a four year old.)

this week she actually started talking to him (which was the cutest thing i've EVER seen. we didn't even tell her to, she just ran up and said, 'hi baby cash!' i about died, it was so cute.)

something tells me she's going to claim cash as her own too...she seems to have a thing for the men in my life :]

Saturday, November 15, 2008

We just can't have nice things!

Let’s just say there’s a reason that all of our dishes are plastic. Nate and I are pretty clumsy (sorry Cash – grace just isn’t in your genes.) And our furry little pets are no exception to this rule – they tend to destroy everything in their path. But they have NO idea how to be cool about it…or to try and place the blame on someone else. Take the other night for instance:

CRASH! [[Nate and I look at each other.]]
Nate: Hmmm, that didn’t sound good. [[We go into the bedroom to investigate and find BOTH Saphira and Boston standing over a broken candle holder. Boston looks up and makes a mad dash under the bed – Saphira looks up and comes running to us. (Bless her heart, she is SO stupid.)]]
Nate: See? This is why we can’t have nice things!
Sarah: Well, at least we know who’s guilty…not that we had many choices. Alright Boston, where’d you hide the candle? [[Boston had peeked his head out from under the bed, looked at me, then dashed off to his favorite hiding spot. I SWEAR he understands every word we say to him. Lo and behold! The candle was in his hiding spot, all chewed up.]]

I love our ferrets – they make life interesting! Even if it means we are one step away from moving somewhere with padded walls :]

BTW – candle wax will give you a stomach ache. Boston learned the hard way. He spent the rest of the night making his, ‘I probably shouldn’t have eaten that,’ face.

Friday, November 14, 2008

Riddle me this...

What IS it with women and babies? More particularly, women and newborns? I just don’t get it…newborns have always seemed sort of…blah to me. I love when babies are about 6 months old…when they have little personalities and are really starting to interact with you. That’s so fun. But newborns? Are cute and twee and awesome but…if they aren’t your own, I don’t see the fascination. I mean, I know MY SON is going to be the most adorable, fascinating, amazing little newborn to ever breathe air (ahem) but I don’t expect other people to share the same opinion. I mean…they’d be WRONG to think otherwise but…that’s a completely separate issue.

That being said, I don’t get the whole ‘grandma’ complex. You know, the ‘I can’t wait to be a grandma, when am I EVER going to be a grandma, why won’t you hurry up and make me a grandma,’ syndrome. Don’t people get that becoming a grandparent is taking you one step closer to being OLD? And that it’s just another human that’s going to demand presents from you? Granted, I do see the merit in being able to CHOOSE when you want to take care of the kid and being able to gladly pass them along to their parents when you are done. I can get down with that. But…you don’t have to become a grandparent for that…just borrow someone’s kid.

Which brings me to what got me thinking about women and their baby-crazy ways…I don’t get it when other people want to be ‘in the room.’ I’ve been ‘in the room’ and it was a nightmare. I don’t want to be ‘in the room’ for me, for Christ’s sake, so the thought of wanting to be ‘in the room’ for someone else is…oooky. Mary (my desk mate here at the office) is going to be there for her daughters c-section which, for some reason, doesn’t seem quite as weird. I mean, she’s missing all the gory bits and she gets to see the grand finale. But even that kind of weirds me out. Babies are….gross looking when they come out. Why not wait for the kid to get all cleaned up and pink before oogling over him?

Maybe it’s just me…and maybe I’m the lamest person ever for not thinking the ‘miracle of life’ is an awesome sight to behold. But I just don’t get it. I’m with the men – I’d much rather sit in the waiting room and celebrate the birth with a cigar. If I could figure out a way to do that for Cash’s birth, I’d be ALL over it. For real.

Thursday, November 13, 2008

i'm looking forward to...

--wearing jeans with a button and a zipper
--being able to order wine with dinner
--shopping for fun clothes again ($57 order on hold at old navy – I can’t wait to order thee!)
--drinking caffeine without feeling completely guilty
--wearing heels again

Of course…I’m going to have to come up with another excuse for…

--eating whatever I want
--being cranky, hormonal and downright pissy
--not changing the litter box or touching anything that remotely looks like poo from a ferret
--not carrying the heavy grocery bags up the stairs
--napping at eleven-thirty on a Saturday…when I got up at nine. What am I thinking? Naps? Ha!

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

an advance

I’m ferociously short tempered these days…and my patience? Totally out the window. So now that we are (hopefully) just days away from Cash making his grand entrance, I’m anxious and nervous. Not so much about the birth (ok, yes it scares the crap out of me, but I’m frighteningly ‘zen’ about it) and not really about bringing the baby home either. I’m more anxious about me totally losing my shit on someone at the hospital afterwards. I’ve had nightmares about kicking my mom out of my hospital room because I got mad at her. Seriously.

So here’s the thing – in case you hadn’t noticed, I’m not real good at taking advice. And I’ve realized that it’s not just me being a brat or a know-it-all (because sometimes? I was a little worried that my know-it-all-isms were completely beyond my control.) I don’t like asking for help. Period. I like to figure things out on my own. Always have. In school, I was the kid that never asked questions…not because I didn’t necessarily have questions, but because I didn’t want the help. I wanted to take whatever I didn’t understand and figure out the answer all on my own. Probably that’s why I failed math…I wouldn’t ask questions but couldn’t figure it out on my own either. (Math is dumb anyways…ha!) The stubborn in me doesn’t like to admit that I don’t know how to do something.

Obviously, this is our first kid – we don’t really know what we are doing. But we’ll figure it out. And if we are stumped, we’ll ask for help. That’s just our way – we are stubborn and determined to do things on our own.

Basically, this is my way of warning you: if you give me unsolicited advice (no matter how good it is and regardless of whether I need it or not) and I lose it on you? I’m sorry. It’s nothing personal. And it’s not me saying that I don’t want your advice EVER, period. But I’m sure I’ll be bombarded with people telling me things they think I need to know – and with my paper thin patience, I’m bound to lose it on someone. I just don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings. So, in advance, I’m sorry.

Monday, November 10, 2008

food for thought

Thought this was brilliant…because it doesn’t matter if your ‘team’ won or lost – what does matter is that this country needs change. Whether or not president-elect Obama can provide that remains to be seen.

I make a point of not talking about my political views, either in person or here on this blog. For one, I generally can’t stand politics and any discussion of them done in my presence makes me feel a tad stabby. For two, I don’t invest much time/energy into knowing every single flipping thing about politicians and their views so I wouldn’t have much to argue about anyhow.

That being said, I thought this post was very thought-provoking. I only wish that everyone could be as gracious and eloquent in defeat (and I wholeheartedly agree with her opinion of McCain – his concession speech should be remembered as being as inspiring as Obama’s acceptance speech.)

Remember: hug a veteran tomorrow!

Saturday, November 8, 2008

an update

It’s been awhile since I’ve talked about my pregnancy woes (c’mon, admit it – you’ve missed it!) Since we are nearing the finish line…or at least we better be because I’m getting DAMN cranky….I thought I’d share some details I don’t want to forget.

There are two things I may never eat again: Cheez-Its (go figure) and deli meat. The mere thought of touching deli meat makes me want to hurl, let alone actually eating it. Yuck. I still haven’t had any weird cravings – I mostly like the same things I liked before, except now I LOVE them. Like chocolate pudding – I heart you. And corn nuts…mmmm I could eat a whole bag in one sitting. Sure, I feel like ralphing afterwards (only made that mistake once) but it was totally almost worth it. And milkshakes. Especially Frosty’s from Wendy’s…swoooon! They are definitely the greatest invention known to mankind. Oh and apples – crisp granny smith apples…yummers. Great…now I’m hungry.

Anyhow, when I first got pregnant, I had nightmares that I was going to be the size of a Macy’s Thanksgiving Day parade float by the end. Thankfully (seriously, THANK YOU God) I’ve managed to avoid such a disaster. In the beginning – after getting over the whole nausea thing – I watched what I ate. I tried to stay away from sweets as much as possible (except for ice cream. But that doesn’t count, it’s dairy. And dairy is good for you. Ha!) I made sure I was getting plenty of protein, blah blah blah and walked as much as my energy level would muster. But in the last month or so…I’ve kind of thrown in the towel. To hell with the scale - if I want a Frosty from Wendy’s I’m going to have one DAMMIT. And? It doesn’t seem to have affected my weight gain one bit. So either Cash is just sucking up everything before my body can or I was genetically pre-disposed to gain this much weight. Which, if that’s the case, makes me a little cranky. I could have been enjoying my Frosty’s sooner.

Sooo a particular someone I work with (who shall remain nameless. Though, I don’t suppose I’d care if her old ass ever managed to find this blog and read it. I’d tell her to take her comments and shove them right up her…ahem. Annnnnyways…) She of the condescending looks, too much flowery perfume and annoying personality traits, came up to me the other day, threw a condescending look at my stomach (her specialty) and said, “My, you’re getting chubby.” [[look of shock and disbelief on my face]] I’m sorry, WTF did you just say to me, you wrinkly old sack of crap!? Did you just tell me, a WEEK from being due to give birth, that I was CHUBBY? Do you have a freaking death wish? Ok, so that was all inner dialogue…what I actually said was, “Gee, thanks ______. That makes me feel soooo much better,” in as snarky and rude of a voice as I could muster. I still can’t believe that bitch called me chubby. And people wonder why I don’t like her – huh! I could wring her wrinkly old neck.

Yup – that pretty much sums up the last few weeks. People are continuously telling me I’m not as big as they thought I would be (…I’m not sure if that’s a compliment or not….) which is NO help since I feel like a planet. Then again, I’m not as big as I thought I would be either…

Cash is definitely taking up all available real estate in my stomach – and my bladder, stomach and intestines are paying the price. I’ve been miserable, making constant bathroom trips. I’ll save you the gory details, but let’s just say whatever food manages to make its way OUT has one hell of a time getting there. And my ribs? Are going to be cracked in half if he doesn’t quit trying to launch off of them.

They weren’t kidding when they said the last few weeks of pregnancy are no picnic – I want this kid OUT. And believe me, I’m going to be doing EVERYTHING I can to try and speed the process along :] Happy Friday!

Friday, November 7, 2008

silverton is on the map!

i almost fainted when i saw this today.

perez is a celebrity blogger that's becoming famous for...well blogging i guess. i don't regularly read his blog (it's mostly trashy celebrity bashing humor - a funny time waster but...let's face it, i have no time to waste) so the fact that i happened to catch this is even more hilarious.

as for stu being mayor of my 'home town' - heh heh. ya stu but you can't deny his devotion to that matter how misguided it might be. plus, he's got so damn nice legs for a man. it's actually rather infuriating.

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

2x4 - meet nate's face

so you know that part in the movie national lampoon's christmas vacation when chevy chase is up in the attic, steps on the end of a 2x4 and smacks himself in the face?

picture that - but instead of an attic, picture a muddy job site. and nate is the one getting the smacking...

and yes, once i was done consoling him and babying his poor bruised ego, i laughed my ass off. because stuff like this? only happens to him. then it occurred to me that he is probably going to have a big ol' black eye for all of our first pictures with cash. hmmm...

nate's solution? he's going to tell cash that i punched him in a pregnancy hormone induced rage.

i told nate that if he kept it up, i'd give him a matching shiner for the other eye.

do we have the best relationship or what?

Monday, November 3, 2008

meet paulie and juno

you didn't think i wasn't going to dress up, did you?? :]

(nate, btw, is mortally embarrassed by all this. thanks for being such a good sport honey!)