Tuesday, July 28, 2009

mission impossible.

i think the ants are getting smarter. they came in with a vengenance the night of our wedding and now no amount of bug spray, poision or bleach will get them to leave. i SWEAR i saw one ant 'ducking and covering' as i approached.
and i'm fairly certain that they are just days away from busting out their camo and humming the mission impossible theme song to themselves. NOT COOL.

Monday, July 27, 2009

married.

i stole this picture from mom - it's the only one i've seen so far! the wedding was...epic. completely worth every tear and every moment of stress induced heart burn. i can't really put into words just how awesome it was...BUT i do want to take a minute to thank everyone who helped make it happen. a special thanks to janet and rob, nadine and devin, raymond and annette, casey, melody, jen, buck, masonia (the coolest photographer EVER) and our fabulous groomsmen and bridesmaids. you ROCK.

now i'm off to stand in front of the air conditioner in the bathroom. we were in town today and the thermostat on nate's car said 102. 102!!! not cool oregon, NOT COOL. ((literally...heh heh...))

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

you know, i really don't have time for this.

it's no big secret that i'm not the world's best house keeper. i mean, it's not like we are living in piles of filth over here. basically, i clean when necessary. so the other day when nate left a pitcher of orange juice on the container without rinsing it out, thus inviting all the ants in the neighborhood into our kitchen, i didn't completely freak out. i sprayed, i scrubbed and squished every ant i could find. problem solved, right?

wrong. the next day i found a couple more on the counter. again, sprayed, scrubbed and squished. and the next day? a few more...spray, scrub, squish. but today? today, i freaked the F out. nate took some of the recycling off the counter and unveiled a nice little meeting place for the thousand ants that are now taking over my life. i was 'this close' to just taking a hammer to the entire kitchen, because i? do not have time to dismantel, spray and scrub everything 4 DAYS BEFORE THE WEDDING.

this only furthers my belief that living in the country would be perfect if the country didn't have inhabitants like spiders, flies, mice and ants. major design flaw, god. MAJOR.

and we're CRAWLING.

that's right, actually crawling. like, i'm moving forward and am determined to make a mess of EVERYTHING, kind of crawling....and i was going to write more but it suddenly got quiet in the living room, which can only mean he's getting into something. oy.

Friday, July 17, 2009

popeye.

so the other day i tweeted about piper's eye infection (i was want to call them twits...because i think that's funny. heh heh....annnnyways.) when i did, i was secretly hoping that she just got a bug in her eye or something and she'd be all better. well...not so much.

i noticed her scratching at her eye the day she ran away (which i want to tell her is TOTALLY karma and she should NEVER RUN AWAY AGAIN. but something tells me she'll miss the irony.) the next day it was all swollen and puffy. the third day it started oozing things (which, btw NATE, is NOT a sign that it's healing.) we decided we couldn't ignore it anymore and he got some doggie eye drops at petsmart. (it's in a little container that looks just like eye contact solution....which makes me think of doggie eye contacts....which makes me laugh.)

now we have to attempt to wrestle an 80 pound dog to the ground so that we can drip fluid into her eyes (which is NOT FUN.) can't say that i blame her though...you can't get within a foot of me with eye drops unless i'm sedated.

all i've got to say is, this infection better clear up soon. she can't run around and play one-eyed without running into everything....and she looks so sad and pathetic that i keep feeding her table scraps. she's well on her way to gaining 5 pounds in a week. NOT GOOD.

also? this 'popeye' nickname is going to stick if i can't think of something else funny to call her.

eta: i tried to get a picture of popeye but she kept running away from me and cowering in shame.

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

my favorite time of year.

blueberry season is my all time fave. i can eat them everyday. seriously.
and during blueberry season, i do.

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

why yes, i AM freaking out.

soooo...less than 2 weeks until the wedding. i'd like to think i'm not freaking out TOO much...but...you know. honestly, nate is freaking out way more than i am (because he? is a groomzilla. at the rate he is going, he'll be lucky to make it to the ceremony alive.) so between working at the office, helping out at the restaurant and getting last minute things done for the wedding, i'm EXHAUSTED.

oy.

Monday, July 13, 2009

damn you, facebook.

i've finally given in. i always said i would never would...but the peer pressure got to me :]

Saturday, July 11, 2009

man boobs.

he totally has man boobs. how embarrassing...for him...when he gets older and i tell his first girlfriend.

Thursday, July 9, 2009

i'd like a do-over, please.

the past 6 months have been hard. harder than hard. harder than i think i even realized. i've never been at such an emotional and financial low...and having it come 3 weeks from when we are supposed to get married - this just isn't how i envisioned this time in my life. i should be happy...instead i break down in tears every day just thinking about it. i'm wracked with guilt over our decision to continue on with our wedding plans, despite not being able to contribute one cent to it. i hate the fact that all this is putting pressure on the one person who doesn't need it. i keep putting things off because i don't want to ask for the money, but i know we can't pay for it either. and here we are, in serious crunch time, with so much left to do.

i'm not writing this to drum up sympathy or ask for help - quite the opposite. in fact, i'm embarrassed. embarassed because for the first time in my life i feel like a complete failure. even when things were bad, i could always say, with almost 100% certainty, that our bills would all get paid. i could even say with some degree of certainty that they would get paid on time. now i can't say that. never before have i had to scrape together our pennies to buy groceries or been unsure if we were going to make rent. i'm so disappointed in myself, for allowing us to sucuumb to debt.

i've hit a wall. i've used up all my unemployment benefits - hopefully i will be able to eek out some more from the state, but that's a big unknown. and i'm afraid that the little work i am doing is either going to mess up my unemployment further, or keep me from getting a 'real' job.

most days i wish i hadn't listened to everyone and had postponed the wedding. i'm not sure if haveing a big party to celebrate our marriage is worth all this.

i just wish i had a do-over. or a fast forward button to head straight into 2010. i'm not sure how much more of this year i can take.

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

now...this? was unexpected.

suddenly i find myself headed back to work for the very people that laid me off. the very people partly responsible for this strange downward spiral i've been on. i'll be doing a thankless job - one that involves letting hundreds of people know that the broker they used to do business with has died. a grim reaper of sorts. an ironic task, really.

it'll be strange going back there, even for a short stint. i don't have any bad blood with anyone there - being laid off notwithstanding. sometimes things just happen. and really...it was sort of a blessing at the time. and now, right when i was at the edge of true despair, someone from the office calls me and asks for help. i don't expect this to turn into anything permanent - in fact, i'm not sure i would want it to. but maybe this will lead to something else...and if not, at least it will get us through for right now.

sometimes things just have a weird way of working out.

morning person.

so i don't think it's any big secret that i am not a morning person. actually...it runs deeper than that. i just don't wake up in a good mood. even if i get to sleep in. but i will admit...it's hard to stay grumpy for too long when this little face is smiling up at me:

i mean...i'm still not going to wake up with a smile...but he dramatically shortens my 'grumpy hour.'

:]

Monday, July 6, 2009

piper doggy.

she wasn't such a fan of the fireworks. in fact, she had to sleep in our room friday and saturday night because she was so scared. we decided to leave her in the house while we headed to the farm for fireworks - i was afraid if we left her outside on her leash she would wiggle her way out of her collar and be gone for good. when we got home she met us at the door, all trembly and shaky. poor girl. then she did something that completely redeemed her from running away from us all the time.

i was in cash's room, feeding him a bottle and rocking him to sleep when she came bounding in, sniffed at him and me and then plopped right down on the floor next to us. every time she heard a loud boom from the fireworks, her head and ears perked right up, then she'd look over at us, like she was making sure we were still ok.

THIS is why i wanted a dog. we heart her.

Sunday, July 5, 2009

fireworks, baby.

the fordyce fireworks show never disappoints :] cash loved it - he's definitely one of us!

Saturday, July 4, 2009

the fourth.

it's going to be a strange one today...the fourth of july was my dad's favorite holiday. something doesn't seem right about not going over to mom and dads early to blow up monitors, computer towers and tvs. no making home-made firecrackers in the garage. no getting the tennis ball cannon ready. no exploding shot gun shells to get the party started. no road flares taped to propane tanks. no broken headlights from flying debris. no nearly catching the barn on fire with a wayward roman candle (ok...that was actually my grandpa bob, but dad is guilty by association.)

it's not going to be the same. but i still want to make it special. because not only was the fourth my dad's favorite holiday...but it's mine too. and i don't think he would want me to be sad on one of my favorite days.

so this is my moment to be sad...and to say i miss you dad. i'll shoot a roman candle for you.

fourth of july, 2006. shooting the tennis ball cannon at old appliances.

Friday, July 3, 2009

the check up.

we just got back from his latest check up appointment - he's weighing in at almost 24 pounds, 28 1/4 inches long...sigh. what happened to him being all little? he was being all cute and smiley until the nurse gave him his shots...then he looked at her like, what the hell? i even SMILED at you and you still poked me!? poor kid.

sooo...i've got to get something off my chest. every once in awhile i pop over to a couple blogs i read on occasion, both of whom are new, first time moms. i only read them occasionally because...well...they annoy the hell out of me. i just don't understand a new mothers need to gush about her kid as if they are the first thing to ever poop in a diaper. i mean, i think my kid is pretty fabulous...but i feel like gushing about how he is more awesome than anyone else's baby is...rude. and annoying. and frankly, makes me feel a bit stabby. we get it - your kid's cool. can you talk about something else now??

....granted, i do talk about him alot. but i don't have a job - what else am i supposed to talk about? and i don't gush...right? please tell me i don't gush....

Thursday, July 2, 2009

i feel like the coolest mom ever.

sticky popsicles everywhere + $5 wading pool from target + undivided mommy and cash time + a late afternoon nap = the perfect 95 degree summer day.

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

crawling.

or rather, NOT crawling. he can rock back and forth on his knees...but mostly he just scoots everywhere on his big buddha belly. and that suits him just fine (until he gets stuck under the table.)


who needs to crawl when you can scoot everywhere anyway? :]