so a few weeks back mom, lisa and i (and nate and cash) went to pick out dad's headstone.
(nate and i walk in. mom and lisa are both standing over a piece of marble.)
mom: what do you think of this one?
me: umm...it's pink.
lisa: you don't like it?
me: it's PINK.
mom: i take it that's a no.
me: IT'S PINK YOU GUYS. if i let you pick out a pink headstone for dad, he'll march right down from heaven and kill me. seriously. VETO.
(needless to say, we settled on green.)
anyways, while we were there i started telling the owner that i wanted a bell on my grave - you know, like the bells they used in europe during the plague? just in case you weren't dead, you could ring the bell and get dug up? i totally want one because i think that would be HILARIOUS. and if i really get my way, i want it to have a motion sensor to ring every time someone walks by. (insert evil laugh here.)
and that, right there? is one of those moments that i miss dad the most. because he would have thought that was awesome. and laughed (and not nervous laughter like that guy did.) dad and i loved morbid, somewhat creepy stuff like that. the more esoteric, the better (also? bonus points to me for using 'esoteric' in a sentence. that was another thing about my dad - he was amazingly smart. when i was younger, i believed without a doubt that he knew the answer to everything. so when i was about 10 years old and he asked me what edelweiss was, i about fainted. and he loved to use huge, ridiculous sounding words just to irritate me. some of them i'm convinced he made up. when he was feeling really snarky, he would even drop big words into his emails with links to dictionary.com to prove that they were real.)
with all the big changes going on in our lives right now, i'm having a hard time shaking my sadness. i wish so desperately for him to be here so i can bounce ideas off of him. and send witty, sarcastic emails back and forth. it's been a rough week and i've had a terrible time dealing with it. i'm ready to be done with it.
on another, somewhat related note: my sister lasted a whole 5 (ish?) weeks of football season before she bought cash a jersey. i marvel at her restraint.