Sunday, January 31, 2010

i don't want to forget.

cash -

you are growing up so fast - i can't believe 14 months has come and gone already!

you eat blueberries and a granola bar for breakfast nearly every day.
most nights, you are ready for bed at 6:45 (mom is a BIG fan of this) and easily sleep until 7 the next morning.
when you're ready to eat, i'll ask you, 'are you ready for breakfast?' and you grab my hand and take me straight to the cupboard where your granola bars are.

you love playing outside - i think your favorite part is climbing the stairs to get back inside (which you did all by yourself today for the first time!)
you chatter all day long - i have no idea what you are saying, but i'm pretty sure i agree with you.

you love to brush your teeth (and by brush, i mean chew on your toothbrush.) you do it every morning and night - and pitch a fit if i'm getting ready and don't give it to you asap.
you won't let me rock you anymore (which makes me a little sad) but you still have to have a blanket pressed to your face in order to sleep.
i thank my lucky stars on the days you decide to nap - i practically have a heart attack if you nap twice.

i'm learning to love every single moment with you - even the ones when you are being a pain in the ass. you're amazing - i love you.

love - momma

Friday, January 29, 2010

jungle book.

apparently cash has picked up my 'obsessive' gene.
he can't possibly survive the day without watching jungle book at least once.
for a kid that pays no attention to the tv whatsoever (except for those really catchy commercial jingles, which he shakes his little bum to) the second you put jungle book in, he's mesmerized.
most of the time he'll run around and play during the boring parts (aka, the parts with no music) but the second a song comes on, he comes running into the room. especially for the elephants (they're his favorite.)
it cracks me up.
when i was a kid, i did the same thing with the little mermaid. i'm pretty sure i watched it every day for at least a year.
so i guess i had this coming.
still...any day that i don't have 'bear necessities' stuck in my head is a good day.

Thursday, January 28, 2010


yup - our little man can high-five now.
he can also destroy a box of kleenex in the time it takes me to pee.
i'm all for developmental milestones.

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

the new ok.

lately i've been feeling down. broken. heavy with emotions and stress.
sometimes i forget how much nate and i have gone through in the last year. or even since we got married. i have to constantly remind myself that we are still newlyweds - and though i didn't think it possible, our relationship dynamic has shifted and changed drastically in the few months we've been married.
further complicating things, we have someone staying with us - i haven't had a roommate (other than nate) in YEARS and it's been a harder adjustment than i expected. 85% of the time it's not a big deal - but the other 15% continue to weigh heavy on my mind.
nate and i finally had a break-down, all out fight about a week ago - an eruption of things building up since october. we argued, i cried and finally came to the realization that i needed an outlet - something to lift my spirits. something to look forward to every day that doesn't solely involve cash. since dad's accident, i've been teetering on the edge of completely losing it - and while i'm well aware that i could be medicated (and some days seriously wonder.) in my heart, i know it's not right for me.
that's when i had my lightbulb moment - i've always wanted to learn yoga (i dabbled in it in briefly when i was pregnant. and when i say brief, i mean about a day and a half.)
and now, 4 days in, i'm absolutely loving it. after cash goes to bed, i take 20 minutes and just zen out. it's totally kicking my ass (tree pose? F you) but i still can't help but look forward to it.
this is my new ok.

Sunday, January 24, 2010


it's raining today so we're stuck in the house.
cash's new favorite thing is to play outside in his kick-ass new rain boots.
i'm predicting a lot of creative 'rainy-day craft time' in my future.

Saturday, January 23, 2010

the four-way stop.

every time i drive home from costco, there's a particularly four-way stop that will forever remind me of my dad.
because my dad was evil, he insisted that i learn to drive in a car with a manual transmission. convinced that he was in fact, the most evil dad on the planet, i put off the trauma for a year and a half (i got my permit when i was 15 - didn't actually get behind the wheel of the car until i was almost 17. a testament to the stubborness of a teenager (which i got from my dad, btw. completely his fault.) also a testament to a pushover boyfriend and accomodating friends who drove me wherever i wanted to go.)
the first day he took me out driving, he insisted on going down the hilliest back roads he could find. i pulled up to the four-way stop, which was of course at the top of a hill, convinced that i was going to kill the car, roll backwards into the car behind me, crash and die. i did kill the car (twice) rolled backwards, stopping centimeters from the other car's front bumper, thankfully didn't crash OR die, and proceeded to cry the whole way home.
dad continued to say, 'it just takes PRACTICE.'
and i continued to wail, 'i don't WANT to practice. why can't i just learn on an automatic like EVERYONE ELSE? why are you so MEAN?' while dad just rolled his eyes from the passenger seat.
it was weeks until he was able to convince me to get in the car again. with basically the same results.
mom finally got dad to cave and let me drive her car, since she was 'tired of listening to her cry every time!'
to this day, i still can't really drive a stick. dad said i was just stubborn. i say i'm incapable. they invented automatics for a reason, no?

dad's car sold this last week. it's strange to think that i'll never see it again. or that it's not really his car anymore.
despite the torturous driving lessons i was subjected to, i ALWAYS enjoyed the time i spent with my dad. even if he was being evil.
i'll miss that ugly orange car.

Thursday, January 21, 2010


he loves to run.
he usually only naps once during the day.
he sleeps for 12 hours straight at night.
he can really whip a lego at you.
he gives sloppier kisses then piper.
he has a knack for hiding things.
he loves music and baths more than anything.
grapes are his favorite.
he can say dad and hot.
he waves goodbye anytime he's near the backdoor.
and he discovered mud today (he's a fan.)

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

[new] obsession.

truly, i'm in no hurry for cash to grow up (though him being able to actually voice his frustrations wouldn't be terrbile) but i honestly CAN'T WAIT until he's old enough to play with crayons. there's something so magical and fun about crayons. i get to see people create the most amazing art with crayons here at the restaurant - i'm always so envious of the stuff they can create. i hope cash will love art as much as i do - and with freaking AWESOME crayons like these, how could he not? i mean...seriously.




Wednesday, January 13, 2010

apparently i live in a bubble.

but i had no idea the extent of the tragedy that occurred yesterday afternoon in haiti.
thank you to boho girl for providing a list of links and ways to help.
may their wounds heal fast and their hearts heal faster.

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

khalea lyric.

nate's brother harry welcomed this little doll into the world on january 5th.
i have absolutely no experience with babies so small (6 lbs, 7 oz - 18 in long.) i felt like i could carry her around for days without my arm getting tired.
she totally steals my heart.
i'm so glad someone close to us has a little girl - i can buy all those cute little girly clothes without actually having a girl myself (i have zero desire to have a little girl. acutally...less than zero. if there is such a thing.)
welcome to the family lea!

i want.

have you heard of this book? i can't wait to get it for cash. or just for myself.
i'm kind of geeking out about it right now.

Monday, January 11, 2010

Thursday, January 7, 2010

you, with the crappy attitude. you're on my list.

you know that imaginary scroll you keep in your head of stuff that pisses you off?
like, for instance, ketchup, the devil's condiment. (yes, i realize i own the wrong kind of restaurant for not liking ketchup. whatever.)
today i added a few more people to that list.

you, the one that balked at having to pay for the tots you ate - you suck. (am i unaware of a restaurant that you can order food that you don't have to pay for? how do i get in on that?)

you, anonynmous poster that has nothing but crappy, unconstructive things to say about something that we have poured everything we have into - i really want to find out where you work so i can go there and treat you like crap.

you, the person who decided i couldn't take cash to the birthing center to meet his new cousin because he is apparently a walking petri dish of germs - i cursed your name the whole way home. (i'm pretty sure a one year old has never killed someone with their mere presence. also? pretty sure a couple germs never killed anyone either.)

and finally, you, with the crappy attitude that stiffed me today - you REALLY suck.

working with the public is AWESOME. (nope - not a lick of sarcasm here.)

Tuesday, January 5, 2010


i don't just 'love' things. i become a bit obsessed (just ask nate!)
and since it's so fun to share, i'm tagging all of my 'obsession' posts so they're easy to track. not that you would necessarily want to...more like, i'm really bored because the restaurant has been SLOOOOW today (people! you just got paid, why aren't you eating out??) and i've been thinking about my latest obession all day.

behold: the faux polaroid!

i REEEEALLY want a fuji instax (i told nate that's what i want for my birthday - he wasn't amused. i think his exact words were, what the hell do you need another camera for!? silly man - when is he going to realize that i am going to get one anyway?) but i think i'm stuck with the faux stuff for now.
also? i've ordered a bunch of prints to do this in our bedroom. SO EXCITED.

Saturday, January 2, 2010

stinky von droolsthemost.

has finally cut his other front tooth. HALLE-FREAKING-LUJAH.
also? who the HELL is this little boy and what has he done with baby cash?