Thursday, July 29, 2010

via text.

me: nooooo, no name tattoos. names no bueno.
janet: que?
me: am watching george lopez. apparently the inner mexican is coming out and am speaking spanish now. vamonos!
janet: you know what i love? that they tell you it's a question right off the bat, with those handy upside down question marks.
me: ya, i love a good heads up.

i don't know why, but i think that little exchange is so freaking funny. because it's true - i DO love a good heads up!

Wednesday, July 28, 2010


this little man is spending lots of time being boy-sat this week - we have a huge event for the restaurant this weekend and we have alot of work to do.
even though i get to spend most of the next two days with him, i miss him already.

Tuesday, July 27, 2010


for dad: a quote from the euology i gave at his funeral and his planes call sign.

for nate and cash.

i hadn't gotten tattooed since i was 19 (ish...i think) so i wasn't sure what to expect.
have decided that this is definitely less painful than childbirth. like a hundred times less.
didn't hurt that candace (at that tattoo shop in keizer, oregon) was awesome and made it super easy for me.
best of all - it's even better than i envisioned. LOVE.

Sunday, July 25, 2010


husband -

i still love you even though you routinely stink me out of the bedroom and never remember to put your dishes in the sink.
good thing you're cute.

here's to many more years of being stuck together.
at least until i smother you.


Friday, July 23, 2010

the worst blueberry picker.

dad was quite possibly the worst blueberry picker, ever.
i, on the other hand, kick ass (and i'm not just saying that - i really do.)
considering i inherited all of my berry picking abilities from him, it boggled my mind that my dad sucked at it so bad.
in the time it took me to pick 4 huge bowls of perfectly blue berries, he would have 1 bowl barely filled, chock full of pink berries, leaves and twigs.

me: what the heck are YOU DOING? what's taking you so long?
dad: what? i'm picking!
me: isn't going to be happy when she has to pick out all those pink ones.
dad: what pink ones?
me: dad. seriously. you suck at this.

the first summer that i wasn't living at home, dad picked all of the berries for mom.
the next summer, mom was begging me to pick hers because she was tired of dad's less-then-perfect picking techniques.

he may have really sucked at picking blueberries.
and i always had to go through his bowls once he was done so mom wouldn't have to deal with it.
but i really miss his company while i'm picking.

i think cash may have inherited dad's picking style - he only picked the pink and green ones and spent most of the time next to me, eating out of my bowl.

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

that stage.

cash --

you've reached that stage.
the stage that all parents cringe at just the thought of it.
the stage that makes you clingy and whiny one second and free and independent the next.
the stage that means you love peanut butter sandwiches one day and loathe them 3 days later.
the stage that makes you refuse to wear shoes or long sleeves.
the stage that teaches you how to climb things.
the stage where throwing, yelling and hitting are the only ways you know how to get things done.
the stage that makes you dissolve into tears because you are so frustrated at me for not understanding.
mommy no likey.

what mommy likes even less is that this stage, in some varying degree? is going to be forever. you are no longer my sweet, blob of a baby.
you're a full blown toddler, with your own thoughts, ideas and opinions. complete with your total lack to communicate them.
it's exhausting.
but don't worry - your mommy still loves you.
and i promise i won't hold it against you later.

all of those dirty diapers on the other hand...not making any promises.

love you little pumpkin,

Monday, July 19, 2010


so. you're kinda small for your age.

yup. coffee - it'll stunt your growth man.

i may be small, but you're freakishly large kid. get away from me.

hey man - what's with the name calling?

alright, i'm sorry for calling you small. let's hug it out.

fine. just a quick one.

Sunday, July 18, 2010

the pirate ducky.

cash has an obsession with throwing things.
it doesn't matter what it is - if it can be thrown, it will be.
but he has a particular fixation with this pirate ducky.
he loves it.
he loves throwing it.
he loves catching it.
he lights up every time he sees it.

i don't get it.
but it's pretty freaking cute watching him carry his rubber ducky around.

Saturday, July 17, 2010

adventures in underwear.

[[on the phone in wal-mart]]

me: hey, so what size do you wear again?
nate: medium.
me: fruit of the loom or hanes?
nate: fruit of the loom. hanes always rides up my ass.
me: thank you, for that. a simple answer would have sufficed.
nate: noted.

[[a minute later, on the phone AGAIN]]

nate: fruit of the loom, medium, boxer briefs.
me: no shit, i know THAT. do you want long leg or short leg?
nate: they come in leg length!?
me: apparently! i'm not just calling you for fun.
nate: uhhhh, long leg. i'm tall.
me: brilliant. ringer style or
nate: what the hell is ringer style?
me: dude.
nate: ok, ok....umm, that's your call.
me: roger that.

[[talking out loud, to cash]]

me: i don't know why your daddy makes me do this stuff. does mommy send him to victoria secret's to buy her underwear? noooooo. course...daddy probably wouldn't mind, but that? is not the point.

right about now is when i notice the guy shaking with silent laughter one aisle over.
fan-freaking-tastic. just occurred to me that nate probably doesn't want the entire blog world to know what size/style underwear he wears. but he DID marry me and i'm fairly certain i reserved the right to blog about our life in our vows. so that was his bad.....

Friday, July 16, 2010

Thursday, July 15, 2010

giving new meaning to the word pooptastrophe.

[[i actually wrote this over a month ago. finally got around to finishing it.]]

so, you know how i used to complain about newborn pooptastrophes?
and how i would go on and on about them being the grossest thing in the world?
you guys - I WAS SO WRONG.

this morning started off like most others.
i was barely functioning on my half cup of coffee and was running around like a crazy person doing laundry, dishes, changing the litter box, taking out the trash, taking the dog out, feeding the baby and trying not to forget to brush my teeth (it's been known to happen.)

"cash - time to get dressed! let's move!"
after he jumped off the couch, i noticed what looked like a piece of leaf sitting on the cushion. only after i attempted to wipe it off did i realize that it was, in fact, POOP.
there was poop. ON MY HAND.
i screeched at cash that we needed to change his diaper like, NOW.
and thus began the great chase.
it's amazing how fast an 18 month old can run when he puts his mind to it. didn't hurt that i was dodging poop bombs and trying not to focus on the fact that i had POOP ON MY HAND.
10 mins and 50 wipes later, we were ready to go to grandmas.

halfway to grandmas house i realized that what looked like dirt on my pants? WAS POOP.
this day is going to be fantastic.

Monday, July 12, 2010


there are just some things i'll never master.
something in my brain actually prevents me from figuring it out.
like parallel parking.
or geometry.
i couldn't back a vehicle up with a trailer attached if you paid me.
you know what? not so good with the math in general. especially fractions.
and, apparently, i can't open a master lock to save my soul.

[today, on the phone]
nate: how can you NOT open a master lock? i walked you through every single step.
me: i don't know - this is precisely why i pegged my locker in high school!
nate: what is wrong with you?
me: lots of things. for starters, i'm married to you.
nate: whatever.
me: at least i'm funny. i've got that going for me.

Sunday, July 11, 2010

if i have to wear a shirt in public, so do you.

god i love this state.
only here is it perfectly acceptable to still be wearing shorts when it's 32 degrees out and snowing.
unfortunately, these are the same people that bide by the rule 'less is more' when dressing in july.
a bathing suit does not a shirt make.
remember that kids.

Friday, July 9, 2010

day 3 of 'wow - it's really hot out.'

i have decided that it's not the heat that i'm going to complain about.
it's a far cry better then needing to wear a sweater in the middle of july.
but i am going to complain about not having AC.
because that? makes this balmy weather downright shitty.
i would be far more content with the warmth if i was dipping my toes in a pool right now. even if it's cash's $5 pool i got at target last year.
but i'm stuck in a humid restaurant with an AC unit that can be best described as 'special.'
on the other hand, it gives me the perfect excuse to have ice cream for every meal.
so there's that.

Thursday, July 8, 2010

raising the white flag.

i realize i am a bit of a whiner this year when it comes to our not so lovely oregon weather.
but here i am, whining some more.
because it is TOO FREAKING HOT.
i know i asked for warm weather. I KNOW.
but going from a cool 66 to a blistering 92 in the span of 3 days? NOT WHAT I HAD IN MIND.

off to run in the sprinkler. AGAIN.

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

i love everybody.

it took me foreeeeeever to finish this book (chalk it up to being too tired to read before bed, which is when i do the bulk of my reading.)
but i wasn't disappointed.
it wasn't 'cant put it down because it was so fabulous' like spooky, but it definitely had me laughing out loud.
i love everybody won't be the last notaro book i read.

now i'm onto anthony bourdain's a cook's tour.
so far, it's incredibly entertaining.

Monday, July 5, 2010

some days, i prefer him sleeping.

our little man has always been a champion sleeper.
even as a newborn, he easily slept for 5-6 hour stretches.
the details have gotten a little hazy, but i think he was sleeping through the night by the time he hit 2 months.
we've been damn lucky.
and we still are.
most nights he's ready to hit the hay by 7.
and he'll sleep straight on through until nearly 7 the next morning.
he's a slave to his routine though.
he has to have a bottle 95% of the time in order to sleep. and a blanket around his face is a must.
and if we aren't at home? pffft - forget it.
last night he was awake (and screaming) until 9:15. no bueno. and he missed the fireworks.

i'm trying to wean him off his bottle dependency but i may as well ask him to sleep without breathing.
this? is not going to be fun.

Sunday, July 4, 2010

happy 4th!

hope your holiday is fabulous!

ps. yes as a matter of fact, i AM obsessed with sidewalk chalk.

Friday, July 2, 2010

the weekend - FINALLY.

this guy is pushing though another molar and has been CRANK-Y.
and this week at the restaurant has SUCKED (some days it just doesn't does pay to work with your husband. today was one of those days. so was tuesday.) and i'm ready to have some days off.
hope your fourth is fabulous!