Wednesday, March 2, 2011
nate has always been the 'new mom' in terms of cash's health, from day one.
he's always obsessed about his develoment, almost to a manic state.
not that i don't worry about it too - but for the most part i just know that he is going to do things at his own pace and he'll get there.
he's a bit of a late bloomer as it is - he was born a week late, crawled late, walked late, even got teeth late.
so it should come as no surprise that he is getting a hang of this whole talking game late too.
i'm not going to lie - it is starting to sort of worry me.
but for nate, it's terrifying him.
to the point where he's set up appointments with a speech therapist, started googling 'apple poisoning' (don't ask - it's so not a real thing) and lost sleep over the possiblity of something being wrong with him.
i'm on board with him to do whatever we can to help him start talking.
yes, a part of me thinks that he is going to walk into the speech therapist's office and say, "look lady - i can talk. i choose not to because i like to annoy the hell out of my parents, ok?"
but another part of me is worried that we're going to find out something we don't want to hear.
at the same time...if there is something wrong, so what?
is it going to change who he is to me? hell no.
he's still going to be that sweet, toothy-grinned boy that makes me laugh and gives me kisses.
is him having a learning problem a possiblity? sure is.
but so is the possiblity of him getting leukemia. or breaking an arm. or having mono.
he may end up being brought home by the cops when he's 13. or spend more time in the principals office then in class.
he may fail school. he may screw up his job.
it's a possibility he'll marry a girl i can't stand. or a boy i hate for that matter.
he may ignore my phone calls and want to spend time with anyone but me.
and a million other things that don't go 'according to plan.'
and i can't plan for a single one of them.
you know what? that's fine.
because i love this boy, more than anything else in this entire world.
and nothing will change that.