Saturday, April 30, 2011

i think he loves me.

[today, while looking at pictures from the royal wedding (lame, i know)]
cash: [pointing to a picture of kate] "ba-ba, it's youuuuuuu!"
me: oh honey...not hardly. made me feel good. i love that kid.

Friday, April 29, 2011


talking is way cooler when you're two and a half, apparently.
he now says all sorts of things, with his favorites being bye, car, deer and, of course, da-da.
we also figured out that when he says ba-ba, he means me.
but the best things he says? when we look at pictures of himself (still one of his favorite past times) he points and says, 'it's youuuuuuu.' poor kid is going to think his name is 'you.'
which is better than thinking your name is dammit.
just saying.

Saturday, April 23, 2011

a conversation.

what, woman?

are you wondering why i'm giving you the grump face?

could it be that you're hounding me with the camera instead of letting me run through the puddles in my socks?

i think this is a 'shoes optional' activity.


Thursday, April 21, 2011

no puddle is safe.

from this puddle jumping master.
i hope that the gravel gods will someday bestow more gravel for our driveway so it's not one giant mud hole...but at the same time, i'll miss having giant puddles to distract my messy boy.

Monday, April 18, 2011

i'm not one to complain about the weather...
ok...that's a lie. i complain about everything.
in any case, it rains here alot in oregon.
like. A LOT.
and typically i don't mind it.
i would really miss it if it ever stopped.
it rained every single day in march. EVERY. DAY.
and this month hasn't faired much better.
cash and i are going stir crazy in the house because we can't play outside and it's getting a little old.
and yesterday?
i had a pair of ducks floating their way down my driveway.
it was excellent.
and this may be too much information but i feel like i'm starting to mildew.
we need some sun. STAT.

Sunday, April 17, 2011

grandma love.

this boy loves his grandma.
i mean, who doesn't love their grandma? i, for one, have two of the coolest grandmas ever (hi grandma!)
and cash's grandma is no slouch either.
he certainly thinks she's the shit.
i pretty much do too.

Thursday, April 14, 2011


for some reason, i'm loving these crazy, out of focus pictures.
they remind me of the days when everyone shot with film and the pictures were just what they were - blurry and wonderful and full of life.

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

the great debate.

we american's are an uptight bunch, aren't we?
i'm afraid i'm going to be dealing with this sooner rather than later for our tap dance loving boy.

((speaking of, we're thinking about enrolling him in dance class this fall - anyone have any suggestions here locally?))

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

the haircut.

so you know the sound that a cornered, pissed-off cat makes?
that gutteral growl that seems to manifest from deep inside their bodies?
that's the precise sound cash made the entire HOUR it took to cut his hair.
and i'm not even exaggerating.

cash doesn't do well in unfamiliar situations.
he keeps himself glued to my side, taking it all in. don't look at him, don't talk to him and for god's sake, don't touch him.
he'll come around eventually.
so i knew the chances of having him sitting obediently in the chair was a long shot.
i was NOT, however, prepared to have to restrain a shockingly strong, pissed-off, screaming, snot-covered toddler the entire time.
we almost left with him having a mullet because getting the back of his head seemed to damn hard (now realizes why parents let their children have those awful hair-dos.)
there were more than a few moments where nate and i looked at each other, wondering why in the hell we decided to cut his hair in the first place.
by the time we left nate and i were sweating, exhausted and covered in fine, blonde hair.
next time? we're shaving his head.
or drugging him.
or possibly both.

Sunday, April 10, 2011


i had to get weighed when i was at the doctor's last week.
when i saw the number that popped onto the digital screen, i almost fainted.
not gonna lie.
now, if i'm truly being honest, it's only about 5 (ish) pounds up from before i had cash.
when i was nursing, i lost quite a bit of weight, getting down to less than i had started out as, but the moment i stopped, the pounds found me again. (dammit.)
after seeing that number, part of me wants to start working out.
then i spend an afternoon carrying a squirming, thrashing 40 pound toddler the entire length of our quarter mile driveway (not unlike trying to wrestle a buffalo in mud) and think that i'm not in such bad shape.
granted, i spent the rest of the evening on the couch, barely able to move.
but that's not the point.
also, i should probably stop eating so many cadbury mini eggs (confession #2: i've bought, like....a dozen bags this year. SHAME.)
but i'm pretty sure that's not going to happen :]

Friday, April 8, 2011

sir no-talks-a-lot.

has started talking.
of course.
just in the last week he's has started saying water, juice, ball, airplane, toes and bird.
and sings 'twinkle twinkle' with near perfect pronunciation. (it's so cute, i want to vomit sometimes.)
we're still going to have his hearing checked (nate insists.)
but i'm thinking this no-talking things is quickly becoming a thing of the past.

((also? i'm beginning to think i'm going to miss the quiet...))

Monday, April 4, 2011

[trivial] obsession.

i have a new game obsession - trivial pursuit.
i scored the complete game (with all the pieces!) for $1 at goodwill the other day, along with some of the additions - including some i stole from mom's attic (just think, one less thing to move mom!)
amanda and i played for 4 hours straight.
and we're obsessed.
plus, you never know when you're going to need the definition for trioilisim. (just look it up, i'm not explaining it.)
i sense many game nights in our future.

Saturday, April 2, 2011

let's panic about babies.

this book is on my must-read list.
because it basically sounds like the most awesome parenting book ever known to man.
also because it will make me feel somewhat normal when cash's doctor asks us lame questions like, "do you have baby gates for all your stairways?" and i wanted to answer, "no - we like to live dangerously."
or when she asked about his diet and i wanted to reply with, "twinkies are a major food group, right?"
and when she asked about how much tv he watches i wanted to say, "ohhh, about 10 hours a day. and then i throw him into a box filled with broken glass and hypodermic needles to play. that's ok, right?"

Friday, April 1, 2011

this year.

there isn't much to say.
i'm feeling his absence stronger now.
and this april 1st is leaving me feeling more vulnerable, more down.
i can still remember the sound of his laugh and his boots on our hardwood floors.
i can still smell the sweetness of his leather vests.
and hear the tones of his laughter.
but the memories are starting to fade, ever so slightly. hazy and soft around the edges.
the pain isn't as fresh but it's still as strong.
nothing about this ever gets easier.
it just gets different.