there isn't much to say. i'm feeling his absence stronger now. and this april 1st is leaving me feeling more vulnerable, more down. i can still remember the sound of his laugh and his boots on our hardwood floors. i can still smell the sweetness of his leather vests. and hear the tones of his laughter. but the memories are starting to fade, ever so slightly. hazy and soft around the edges. the pain isn't as fresh but it's still as strong. nothing about this ever gets easier. it just gets different.