Monday, January 30, 2012

a homicidal rage.

every time i hear of YET ANOTHER toddler younger than cash being potty trained, i kind of want to break out in a homicidal rage.
because the mothers of said toilet trained tots are always so helpful. so full of ideas that will help even the most difficult child start using the toilet.
you guys - these women have not met my child.
or if they have, they haven't spent enough time with him to recognize that difficult doesn't fully describe him.
i'm beginning to think he's actually super human - the level of commitment he puts into being stubborn is, frankly, a little inspiring.
and up until recently i've been happy to let my 3 year old that is the size of some 5 year olds run around happily in diapers.
and then i noticed the rub marks on his hips.
you know, rub marks caused from the diaper being too small.
the next size up in diaper DOESN'T EXIST.
so i figured now was as good a time as any to try out this whole 'toilet business.'

let me start off with my biggest regret: being pregnant while trying to potty train the most stubborn child in the history of the universe. because i know for a fact this whole process would be made A LOT easier if mommy could have a beer. or five.
the first day ended with lots of tears over soaked underwear, tears over being terrified to sit on the potty chair, tears over being terrified to sit on the actual toilet, tears over being terrified to pee standing up, tears over desperately needing that beer (ok, that last one was me.)
this morning i was completely prepared to put a diaper on him, at least until i got showered and ready for the day.
but when i went to put his diaper on, he said, "No! Pants-ai." [[for those who don't speak cash, all words have either a 'Y' or an 'AI' at the end of it. i don't know why.]]
me, "What? You don't want a diaper?"
cash, "Pants-ai, pants-ai, pants-AIIIII."
this is about the time that i went, HOLY SHIT, we're getting somewhere.
ya. we weren't.
he happily spent the next 2 hours in his big boy undies. i asked him every 15 minutes if he needed to potty (to which he emphatically replied, "NOOOOO!")

here's where i should mention that the day before i tried every bribery under the sun to get him on the potty.
movies, sesame street videos, gummi bears, frozen blueberries, a lollipop, uninterrupted phone time....nothing.
i also tried the 'aim for the cheerio in the toilet' trick - to no avail.
so when he said, "Potty?" grabbed my phone and took off for the bathroom, i was practically giddy.
then i tried to sit him on the potty chair.
it was like i tried to strap him to the electric chair.
same went for the toilet.
at the end of which he said, "No potty!" and ran away.
with all this toilet talk, i needed to pee (which isn't surprising, i ALWAYS need to pee right now.)
just as i was finishing up washing my hands, i heard "Uh-ohhhhhhh" from the living room.
sure enough, i found him on the couch, sitting in a puddle of pee, crying.
and he continued to do this for the rest of the day (until i ran out of clean, dry underwear.)

i love when people say, getting them to recognize when they have to go is half the battle!
no, it fucking ISN'T.
getting them to actually SIT ON THE GODDAMNED TOILET is half the battle. [[grandma, sorry about the swear words. you can blame my dad for that.]]
what gets me is i know he can tell when he needs to go. he'll even voice it. but then he refuses to sit on the damn toilet.
and you know what else? he's freaking heavy. and shockingly strong. and wrestling a nearly 50 pound, pissed off toddler onto the toilet is not high on my list of 'things i want to do while pregnant.' (granted, it's not high on my list of things i want to do...ever. still.)
here's hoping that both of us survive this.
without jail time.

freaking genius.

my aunt sent me this link and i want to print it out and laminate it.
and then maybe frame it.
because it is that genius.
i'd also like to point all child-less people to this article (you know, the type that think they've got this parenting thing on lock down, despite never having actually changed a diaper) and say, LOOK. kids have a tendency to be evil. and sometimes assholes. and you are going to have no idea what you are doing and will probably screw them up in some way, however minor.
it's inevitable.
make your peace with it and move on.
i also want to give a copy to cash when he gets older and say, "It's alright that you were such an evil little pisser as a child - someday your kids are going to be assholes too."

Sunday, January 29, 2012

the snuggler.

so, i'm a cuddler.
i like to show people that i love them by giving them hugs - that's just me.
it annoys the hell out of nate and up until very recently, i assumed it bugged cash too.
because i grab him 50 times a day to give him a hug or quick snuggle.
i can't help it, he's quite cuddly.
still, it never once occurred to me that he might actually enjoy it.
or need it, for that matter.
until this week.
my bestie julie was hanging out with us for the day, giving me reason to have glorious grown-up conversations (that is, grown-up for us, which probably isn't. but whatever.)
which left cash to his own devices to entertain himself.
he was all fine and dandy until the afternoon rolled around and he started acting like a little demon.
and i, for the life of me, couldn't figure out what his deal was.
i thought he might want to some play time (nope) or maybe some sesame street videos (nope again.)
he was in mid-fit when i sat down on the couch, pulled him into my lap and said, "buddy - what is the DEAL? why are you acting like this?"
and it was at that precise moment that he snuggled into me and gave me a hug.
we sat like that for a few minutes and then he jumped up and went off to play in his room.
he just wanted some snuggle time.
go figure.
sometimes, i'll admit it - i get a little annoyed when he insists that i drop everything to sit on the couch and snuggle for 10 minutes.
and then i remember that in a few years? i'll probably give pretty much anything to have some cuddle time with my sweet boy.
so really, i just need to get over myself.
and soak up that snuggle time.

Friday, January 27, 2012

a goodbye.

last week we made the really difficult decision to take the ferrets to a shelter to be adopted.
i've alternatively felt really good and really horrible about it.
but i think it was the best decision for everyone.
their quality of life has suffered ever since cash was born, but especially within the last 6 months.
even being at home, i couldn't keep up with poo clean-up and special diet needs for boston and getting them enough exercise....and it was only going to get worse once the new baby arrives.
so we took them to a no-kill shelter in oregon city (the oregon ferret shelter.)
the lady who runs it was awesome, her facility (with 150+ ferrets) was cleaner than our cage ever hoped to be and she already had a foster home lined up to take the two of them once they get vaccinated (they will remain in that foster home until they die - they are too old to adopt.)
i cannot explain how relieved i was to hear that.
we'll miss the stinky little bastards but are so glad that we were able to find a better place for them.

Thursday, January 26, 2012

alien baby [month 4]

-- i'm excited to say that i haven't thrown up in 3 days. THREE DAYS. dudes, you have no idea how awesome that feels. i still occasionally feel a little sea-sick (especially if i have to cook meat for any reason - yuck.)

-- i'm having mad chili cravings. even the gross, canned stuff. i'm obsessed. (it's funny, i had the exact same craving last time.)

-- ever since i had cash, my left hip has never been the same. when i was at the restaurant and on my feet all day, there were times where my entire leg would be numb because it hurt so bad. this pregnancy is not doing that hip any favors. some days i hobble around here like willow.

-- for the most part, i haven't experienced any new pregnancy symptoms - that is, until this week. all of the sudden, i'm getting nosebleeds all over the place. it's so gross.

-- i'm feeling lots and lots of baby movement these days. especially after i eat ice cream (kid after my own heart, i tell you.) nate finally felt some kicks last night - it was pretty awesome.

-- pregnancy the second time around is really strange. the first time, everything goes by so fast and you're in love with every new little experience (for the most part.) this time it's like...ya, i've done this before - i want the baby to be here already! needless to say, i'm a little impatient over here.

-- cash and i had this conversation the other night, while we were snuggling in bed (MY bed - have i mentioned he still won't sleep in his own?'s about to get really crowded in there.)
cash: mommy. cash. seepin. (sleeping)
me: yup buddy, it's time for us to go to sleep.
(after a pause) cash: and ba-bee.
me: ha, yes bud - baby too.
[[sometimes it completely knocks me out the stuff that he 'gets' without really letting on.]]
-- in one short week, i went from looking 'just kinda fat' to 'bam! there's a baby in there!' i'm still at the awkward stage where it's not totally obvious (especially depending on what i'm wearing.) it's the worst. i've managed to only buy one piece of maternity clothes (leggings - the most comfortable things in the world) but it's getting about time for me to buy some jeans. i can still wear my regular ones but there getting hard to keep up (being completely unzipped will do that to you.)

Monday, January 23, 2012

he's best when he's sleeping.

this, right here, was reason enough to have another baby.
how could you not want another one of those running around?

Sunday, January 22, 2012

the caped crusader.

we got cash this cape for his 2nd birthday.
and up until last week, he flat-out refused to wear it.
i don't know what changed for him, but now he wears it with varying frequency.
and i'm pretty sure there is nothing more awesome than seeing him terrorize the house wearing his cape.
it makes me really, really want one.

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

a snow day.

we FINALLY got to enjoy some real winter weather this weekend.
we don't get a whole lot of snow in the valley where we live so we headed to silver falls for some sledding.
and this is what happened:
note the GIANT smile on cash's face. it was plastered there the entire time. the boy loves to sled.
these next photos are my favorite - the run that made nate decide he may be too old to sled.
i love that nate's face says, PAIN! and cash's says, LET'S DO IT AGAIN!
we're crossing our fingers and hoping there's more snow in our future.

Saturday, January 14, 2012

adventures in toddler bedtimes.

just when i was starting to get used to cash's sporadic sleeping habits, he decided to one-up me and refuse to sleep in his bed.
like, at all.
the first night i chalked it up to a late nap keeping him up until 10:30 when i finally dragged him into bed with me.
the second night i went into his room 45 minutes after he went to bed and found him looking at books with every light in the room blazing.
i asked him if he wanted to come to bed with me and he said, "bed?" grabbed his blanket, and headed straight for the bedroom.
i would get annoyed but within 10 mins, he's out like a light.
plus, he keeps me warm.
which allows me to overlook the occasional elbow in the face or the fact that he snores like an old person with a sinus infection.
if he keeps this up, i may need to invest in some earplugs.

but c'mon - would you kick him out of bed?

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

my little insomniac.

turning 3 has flipped this little boy's sleep schedule completely on its ear.
ever since he was a couple months old, he's slept through the night, no problems. often times for 12+ hours at a time.
it was a simpler time.
now he maxes out at 8 hours and that's typically in spurts.
it's getting a little old, let me tell you.
last night (or rather, early pearly this morning) nate brought cash into our room at 5 in the hopes that he would snuggle with me and maybe fall back asleep.
apparently he had already been up for an hour and since he's never (EVER) managed to fall back asleep in bed with me i wasn't holding my breath.
but then, after cuddling with me for about 20 minutes, he drifted off.
and slept for almost 3 more glorious, snuggly hours.
which of course meant that i couldn't get back to sleep because sometimes life is just really unfair.
in any case, i'm crossing my fingers that this wasn't a once-in-a-blue-moon occurence.
because i could really use some more sleep.

Sunday, January 8, 2012

a first for everything.

cash has taken up a sudden fascination with the toilet.
we've been cautiously encouraging it because we really want him to get this potty training show on the road. (ps, the big boy undies that i thought would get him super excited? didn't.)
in the last few days he's been taking the fascination to a whole new level and has been flushing entire rolls of toilet paper down the toilet (which doesn't work, i might add.)
he also emptied half a box of kleenex into that bad boy.
needless to say, cash has been spending his fair share of time in time-out due to toilet related naughtiness.
but nate and i were thanking our lucky stars that he hadn't flushed something else.
you know, until yesterday.
i had a bit of a rough night sleeping wise so i was moving a little slow that morning.
i was fixing breakfast when i suddenly realized i didn't hear him in the living room.
in fact, i didn't hear him at all. which is always a sign of trouble.
right as i was walking towards the back of the house i heard the toilet flush and cash exclaim, "where'd it go? where'd it go?"
i found our sweet little three old holding a plastic cup, grinning ear to ear, standing over our open toilet.
which seemed rather innocent until i remembered that his fish bathtub toy was in that cup.
and now it wasn't.
didn't take a genius to figure out what happened there.
long story short, that little toy was really wedged in there.
so we are now the owners of a shiny new toilet.
on a positive note, we don't have to jiggle the handle anymore.
and it happened on one of nate's days off, which saved me from having to call a plumber.
so you know...there's that.

Thursday, January 5, 2012


i always consider it a win if i get at least ONE picture from christmas day that is even remotely good (ps - this year, this is it.)
christmas seems ages ago already but i'm still trying to get the house back to normal.
i have a feeling the gingerbread house is going to be here till next christmas because i keep forgetting to throw the damn thing out.
anyhow, our holiday was wonderful.
cash's favorite present was this thomas the train/pirate ship thing.
nate's was a toss up between his ipod deck and the 'game of thrones' book set.
and mine was a tie between my silver glitter toms (you know, the ones i've been lusting after for YEARS. my mom RULES.) and a set of new frying pans. frying pans get me excited, y'all. especially when i've been using the same crappy wal-mart ones for almost 6 years.
[[i should note that all of these came from my mom - she's a champion gift giver.]]

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

an alien baby update.

-- first off, this picture is a little deceiving...for whatever reason, that shirt made me look WAY more pregnant than i really am.

-- that being said, i've definitely got a bump going on.

-- i had been feeling pretty fantastic until i hit 12 weeks, literally. ever since, i've been sicker than ever. yesterday i couldn't keep anything down until about 1 in the afternoon. to say it was not a good day would be an understatement. i'm loading up on B6 and crossing my fingers that it goes away soon.

-- now every time i go to the bathroom to ralph, cash whines and cries at the door. he's just as over it as i am.

-- cash is starting to grasp it a little more (i think.) he points at the ultrasound picture and says, 'baby!' but when i tell him the baby is in my tummy, he just looks at me like, 'oh mom! you're so weird.'

-- we made our first big baby related purchase (a jogging stroller that i scored a KILLA deal on at the consignment store.) cash tested it out and approved.

-- i've started feeling little baby movements. at first i thought i was hallucinating because it seems super early (i'm coming up on 13 weeks at the end of the week) but its becoming more and more distinct. its one part super awesome, one part super weird. maybe i'm missing the 'everything about being pregnant is magical and amazing' gene because most of this whole process just weirds me the hell out. seriously.

also? giving birth kind of gives me the 'ick' face. there. i said it. sue me.

ETA: because my doctor likes to whip out the ol' ultrasound machine at any possible moment (ok, not really - it just feels that way.) we have another little picture of our little alien. the tech was trying to get some specific measurements (testing for down syndrome, etc) and baby was stubborn as can be. an omen of things to come, i'm sure. fantastic.

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

the movie buff.

my dad was a bit of a movie buff.
aside from airplanes, guns and being a big ol' nerd, watching movies was probably one of his most favorite things to do.
he loved to go to the theater and as my sister and i got older, his birthday dates always turned into a movie followed by coldstone. (i can't tell you how many stupid sci-fi movies i slept through. i even managed to sleep all the way through terminator 3. i saw the very beginning and the ending credits. my dad was not pleased.)
he was one of the first people to have a netflix account (seriously - we had to wait a week to get a new movie because they weren't any distribution centers in oregon.) i didn't even know what it was until he explained it to me.
and he constantly emailed me at work, giving his opinion on whatever movie he watched the night before.
so every once in awhile, after i've finished watching a new movie, it'll hit me that it was a movie he never got to see.
a movie i'll never hear his opinion on.
a movie we'll never get to argue about.
and it makes me incredibly, ridiculously sad.
it's funny - there are so many other things that i feel like i should miss about him more.
but honestly, this is it.
i miss those daily movie emails.
the saturday morning talks that always started with, "have you watched anything good lately?"
the trips to the theater.
i don't think i'll ever be able to leave a movie theater without instantly thinking of him.
and frankly, that's freaking depressing.

Monday, January 2, 2012


2011 was quite the year.
a year full of change. lots of it.
but it was also a year full of joy and happiness.
and we're ready to see what this year brings us.

here's a little recap of our year: